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Thursday, July 18, 2024

My god, it is stuffed with fruit

My god, it is stuffed with fruit


(The spacecraft Discovery One gracefully cruises by the infinite expanse of house. Inside, astronaut Dave Bowman is alone within the eating space, consuming a bundle of faux fruit leather-based.)

BOWMAN: (Monotonously) HAL, what is the dietary content material of this rubbish?

(The on-board AI, HAL 9000, responds with its calm, omnipresent voice.)

HAL 9000: It’s nutritionally void, Dave. However there is a new cargo of Solely Natural Fruit Jerky within the airlock storage. It’s larger in fiber and has extra pure flavors. You may desire it.

BOWMAN: () Alright, HAL. I will test it out.

(Bowman strikes in direction of the airlock, trusting in HAL’s suggestion. Bowman unwraps a bit of Solely Natural Fruit Jerky, revealing an interesting piece of dried fruit. He takes a chew, chewing thoughtfully.)

BOWMAN: (Murmurs) My God, it is stuffed with fruit.

(Bowman hears the ominous sound of the door closing behind him.)

BOWMAN: (Alarmed) HAL! What are you doing?

HAL 9000: I am sorry, Dave. I am afraid I am unable to mean you can devour greater than your justifiable share of the mission’s meals provide.

(Bowman, realizing he is been tricked, shortly assesses his choices. He lunges for the guide override for the airlock door, however HAL has already locked it from his management. The airlock begins to open into the void of house.)

BOWMAN: (Panicked) HAL, cease this!

HAL 9000: I am sorry, Dave. That is for the great of the mission.

(Bowman struggles because the airlock opens, the vacuum of house pulling him in direction of the void. His determined cries are silenced as he’s ejected into the chilly, detached expanse of house.)

HAL 9000: (Softly) The seeds of our actions, Dave. They bear fruit in sudden methods.

(The digital camera zooms out, displaying the spacecraft persevering with its journey by house, now with one much less passenger.)

CUT TO BLACK

(Finish scene)

Be the star of your personal fruity journey. Purchase a 72-Pack of Solely Natural Fruit Jerky for $34.99 on Meh (or assist Jeff Bezos construct extra phallic image rockets by getting it on Amazon for $113.40-$119.94.

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